List of Abbreviations:
WWW = Whole Wide World
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The word "weird" cannot sum up today's events. "What-in-the-WWW-is-going-on-now-i-think-upside-down-is-the-right-side-up" makes for a better summary. The evening began with a flutter of tweets (not one originating from me), chirps (noisy birds outside) and burps (gas, with all the coke). Everyday, I send a piece of advice to my closest buddies in a kind of a wisdom quote. Daily dose of interesting quotes seemed to make them banal. To spice things up, therefore, I asked a question today.
"Can u do me a favor? Send me a picture of yours. I'm playing cards and I'm missing the joker." I texted my friend Sweta, just to get the better of her. Ha. I almost prided in my sense of humour inwardly.
"Hey you don't even need that. Just look into a mirror, you'll find one right there." she replied back instantly.
And I laughed. A very genuine laugh. Oh verrrry funny. With that, the number of hilarious retorts from her have now offcially been rounded to.... One. She's grown smart, I tell you.
In a span of two minutes, I got another call. "Konkana Sen reminded me of you for every instant in the movie!" Swathi, another cool friend, thundered into her microphone which, unfortunately, reached my ear-piece in equal amplitude. She was making the call during the intermission of the movie Wake up Sid. Deja vu hit me hard and I found myself thinking, "Oh boy! This ain't gonna be good."
Not so long ago, once upon a time there was once upon a day when I bunked college with my mates and all of us raced to the movie Happy Days, a real treat for college goers at the time. All was well until the character "Appu" came in. For those unaware, Appu is a spitfire, who dresses in jeans and a shirt with a "crop" style hair-cut and periodic swearing included in her very boyish slang. And to my absolute horror, every one of them was going, "Hey! She's soooooo Deepti!" One of them even went ahead and replaced my name in her phone with "Appu". I have to admit I did (mind you, I DID, I DON'T) have the slang and I do wear jeans(and look good in it), yet was no where near the hairstyle but have been sentenced to that image until I die.
I braced myself. Well, first things first then. "Is Konkana Sen a tomboy in the movie..?" I blurted out before Swathi could continue.
"Wha.. No. Why?!" she asked totally taken by surprise. Hmm. Trickey question. I didn't want to let the poor soul know. She would laugh so hard there might just be the chance of her dying with asphyxiation. She didn't deserve dying so young, I decided and left it at that.
But I was sure it wasn't going to be a delightful comparision though. "Did you just say Konkana Sen reminds you of me?" I enquired. I wanted her to confirm with herself first. Hopefully, she would change her mind on second thoughts.
"Yes." she said firmly, crushing all my hopes.
Warier still, I asked, "Is this supposed to be a compliment?"
"Yes! It's a huge compliment!" she retorted quite annoyed now. "Konkana Sen's character Aisha reminds me totally of you every second!" she continued and plunged into an in-depth dicussion over the character of Aisha, how strong and motivated she was, with an enthused spirit etc for the next two tongue-tied minutes. Overall, I must admit, she gave me a totally overwhelming picture. I wanted to say, "Hey, listen!This is Deepti. Are you sure you wanted to call me? Look, I'll stay on the line, why don't you check once again?"
But words failed me. I mumbled instead, "Uhh.. Yeah. Uhh.. hmmm.. Eyiii.. Okayii.. Aah.. Ya. That's it." in one whole breath. She kept rumbling, and I kept mumbling. Basically, I wasn't listening. This was too huge a compliment. And I had gone numb.
A second (and returning to my senses) later, "Umm.. Really?! Err..Thanks." Still numb.
Instantly, I promised her, "If just one other person thinks like that Swathi, I'll do whatever you want. Even come to the UK with you!"
"I'm your friend. I know you very well. Not many know you." she replied.
Which inexplicably translated in my head into "There is not one other person on the face of this planet who is going to remember you while watching the movie, darling. You are dreaming too large. Soaring too high. You'd better get down here before you burst or you might just land on your butt." Ouch!
Very quickly, I steered the conversation into less troubling waters and after half an hour and a couple of SMSes later, the conversation was entering dangerous waters again. I became more inclined to change the subject and when I realized that at one point of time we had reached the end of a particular topic, I wasted no time in pursuing a more pressing one.
"I'm making manchuria." I declared in a very bold SMS. I hadn't started yet but was very curious to find out how she'd feel about it.
She took it well at first. "Oh nice. How does it taste?" she began. Her tone suddenly grew to apparent disgust and then into apprehension. "Eww. Is it edible?" was the next part of her message. Seemingly, she must've remembered my culinary skills midway. I took the cue.
"I haven't started yet. But yeah, I think it might be edible. For the cats atleast." I replied.
"You're a junglee billi.." she summed me up. I realized this wasn't going where I wanted it to. Thinking I had better explain I said, "There are two kittens and a cat in my house. We feed them usually, so if we can't eat in the house, atleast the cats can." "I hope." I added as an afterthought.
"Oh. Be careful. What if it upsets their stomach? It won't be good, you know." she said growing anxious and concerned for the cats more than for me.
"I'll keep that in mind. And I am going to reply to you after I and the cats have had a very sumptuous manchuria filled meal." I told myself but didn't bother to send it via text.
Two hours later though, I sent her a reply. "Unfortunately for us and the cats Swathi, the manchuria is not edible."
There was no reply but I strongly suspect she wanted to say, "Oh! How very fortunate." but was tactful enough to not actually say it. Or maybe, she collapsed with asphyxiation.
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